Changes ... Life as Marley's Mama

Sunday, November 20, 2011

In My Love

Wanna hear a great song?

The first time I heard this song was on a snowy night last January, shortly before Jim passed away. Things were not looking good. I'd been to put Marley to bed, who was staying at a friend's house. Having successfully gotten her to sleep, I'd slipped away to go back to the hospital. Mom would be coming up soon to keep her at home.

I was emontionally lost.

I was a wreck.

I was feeling bad, because my daughter had been staying at friends' homes for three nights. I'd been through the wringer alongside Jim as we were told that he had a tumor compressing his spinal chord. Without intervention, it would take away his ability to walk within about a week, and no surgeon was willing to touch him. The only thing we had left was radiation, and that was only intended to keep him from losing total control of his body from the middle of his chest down. They'd told us he only had a few months left. His pain was not well controlled, due to some circumstances we couldn't help. I was feeling torn between the guilt I felt at only seeing my two-year-old daughter for an hour or two each day and leaving Jim alone at the hospital. Inside I knew that right then, he needed me more.

So that's how I found myself driving through a snow storm late at night, tired well beyond the point of driving safely. I had the window down to blast cold air on my face, and I was flipping through radio stations. I happened upon a Christian station, so I left the station there, hoping for some sort of encouragement.

Wow, did I get it.

At that exact moment, Jesus met me in my car and wrapped His arms around me with a song. Little did I know that this song had been written for a friend of the musician, Phil Wickham, who had just lost his wife to cancer.

Isn't God good?

Listen again.

That's good stuff.